Wednesday, September 28, 2011



I am being challenged within an inch of my creativity.

I'm reading a book right now; Gadsby, a 5000 thousand word book; a book written in 1939 by a gentleman named Ernest Vincent Wright. It's a short story or novella; whichever one applies, and the most incredible, mouth-hanging-open, jaw-dropping, stunning part of the whole story is...HE WROTE THE ENTIRE THING WITHOUT USING THE LETTER 'E'.

Of course, the letter pops up a few times but ONLY in the introduction; which explains how and why he did it. The man actually tied down the letter 'e' on his traditional typewriter so that the letter would not pop up mistakenly.

This art is called 'lipogramming'...under the larger umbrella of 'constrained writing'.

I'm impressed.

And I'm challenged.

Anybody who follows my writing would have observed that I try to do new things; not conform to any law or structure or form of writing...and therefore I am now inspired and challenged to create my own lipogram/constrained writing opus.

I am going to pursue this challenge/goal I have set for myself; and hopefully inspire others to also try and reach farther than they ever thought possible. Because you see, of what use is living if we refuse to leave our conform/comfort zones?

I would also like to think that this sums up my life; doing/trying new things...always trying to reach farther than I did the last time. Of course; with God's help.

You never know till you try. Aim for the next gallaxy. If you miss, you'll end up in THIS gallaxy, but amongst it's stars. That's what I believe.

What do you believe?

Monday, September 26, 2011



I hope that does not sound cocky. I'm just grateful for the privilege.

Just like everyone else...if I count the number of 'close shaves' I've had (and I'm not talking about those ones involving overskilled barbers), I should be hairless by now. Real.

But seriously...God is faithful. I just want to say that.

A lot of times I feel dead...especially when I've used enough barbiturates to drown out the noise of a stampeding herd of elephants. I'm floating..right, but I still feel so connected to everything. And then it all shuts out...and all I hear is a pleasant buzzing sound.

Sometimes...I just want to escape.

And too many do that, I do some really thoughtless things.

But I did not come here today to depress you or make you feel sorry for me. I hate pity. As far as I'm concerned, it's the weakest and lamest emotion in existence. Moving on...

So i was saying...I'm alive today because God is.

I'm no better than the countless number of people who die everyday...and it's not like they offended God or nothing like that. These things just are. And like I said above; I'm grateful.

I remember Bruce Almighty; Jim Carey. At the end after he had been hit by a truck and woke up in the hospital. I remember what the doctor said;

"Bruce? Bruce? You're lucky to be alive, man. Someone up there must like you." Or words to that effect.

Have you ever felt like that?

And did you ever stop; I mean, just take a moment to appreciate that person who just 'likes' you...for no reason at all?

And apart from just thanking Him...did you ever think to try and find out excatly WHY He still keeps you around, despite it all?

I'm grateful (I know; i'm trying to get you to like the word), because slowly but surely and more definitely, I'm watching my dreams...dreams as old as I am; dreams older than I am actually become reality.

All because HE choose to keep me alive.

Do you live a life of purpose? Do you live a life of service?

Why are you...ALIVE?

Monday, September 19, 2011


I know. Now someone wants to kick my head in because I dared call rape an 'irrelevant' issue. Why not? Can I not say what I like?

I mean...a woman can blame a fellow woman for being raped and I cannot say rape is irrelevant? Get real.

After all...if the governor of Abia State and the ABSU counsellor said it was all lies (despite the video and reactions)..if they could be so high-handed about it, why can I not say some stupid shit?

The ABSU counsellor actually said the students are NOT his. Smart man. Bet he's one of those men who actually use 90% of their brain capacity; and therefore knows every student of his school by sight, name AND matric number.

Why ABSU of all schools?!?!

In case you just fell from MARS, the 'rape' I'm talking about would be the August rape of a woman by five 'students' of Abia State University, Nigeria...who had the guts to record and release the video online.

For details:

After all...I'm a man and rape does not affect me. Unfortunately, as retarded as I am, I have conveniently forgotten that I have a sister.

Oops, sorry. Several sisters. Sisters I love so much. Like Gretel. And Abby. And Chinwe. And Uche. And Bimpe. And Bola. many others.

Wetin concern me? Na me say make dem miswaka ni?!

Abegi jo!!!!!

I just realised that people are incredibly daftly creative (that would be an oxymoron for intelligently retarded) a great governor saying such a saddening thing is the work of his 'political detractors'. How could he have thought that up? I would think that his political detractors would think rape is a small fry for bringing down a governor...or are the bomb blasts and all that other 'creative' stuff only reserved for the president?

I'm just saying.

And all those people like me...wey ovasabi (over mumu actually), talking all sorts of nonsense on twitter and other 'social networks'...I just remember say animals plenty wey look like human beings. In the words of Fela...'animal in human skin'.

I am one of those people who think rape is boring. I mean...why force someone to give something to you if you can simply ask for it?

But of course...I'm not into domination (except it's dominating my laziness) so therefore I really can't judge people by what gets them off. But if what gets you off is against/threatens someone else's safety, isn't there/shouldn't there be some sort of law against that?

But again, what do I know? I'm just a retarded writer who does not care about issues until they directly affect him.

Shout out to all you fellow retards out there. May you not learn the worst way that you need to smarten the fuck up or shut the fuck down.